I rarely talk about this special kid. Yeah, kid. I’ll always call him budak. He will forever be a kid to me. A kid that needs people to always look out for him.
Abang Lan or Muhammad Idlan , was born in February 1996, 3
years after I was born. When he was a child, he barely speak a word. The only
sounds that came out from his mouth was “keng, keng” it sounded like that to
me, to us. I didn’t know why but it was hard for him to learn to walk, to speak
like other kids. He sometimes cried for no reasons, he got cranky for no
reason, he hated crowded place. I didn’t understand why he was behaving like
that. All I knew that he was a little troublemaker. Back then, a 4 or 5 year-old
kid like me, didn’t understand that her little brother is diagnosed with
Autism.
When I was 7, Irfan was born, thus the name Abang Lan because
Ibu wanted him to get used being Abang to our cute little hamster (read; Irfan).
At some point in my life, there are few
times when I wish he was just a normal kid, so that we could go to school
together, like my other friends and their siblings.
I was 11 when we moved to other school and for the first
time we were in the same school. My school back then had this kind of rule; where we had to line up, in front of the classes before we
were allowed to safely leave the school.(I still think this rule is ridiculous) So, I had the obligation to pick him up from his class every day after my class was done and only after that we could
line up. I hated to wait for him putting on his
shoes and green-coloured bag. Because by the time he was done, most of other kids and
my classmates had left, leaving us behind in the line.
One day, somehow when we were lining up, Abang Lan got
separated from me and I lost the sight of him. I searched for him by the time I
got to the school gate. I was worried, I looked around and I couldn’t even see him with his green school bag. I began to panic; I thought Abang Lan got lost somewhere. I thought,
it was my fault for not being able to look after him. By the time I got to the
car in which Ayah had always waited for us, I almost cried.
Ayah was like, “Kenapa ni?”
“Abang Lan hilang.”
“Ni Lan da masuk kereta.”
Only then, I saw Abang Lan inside the car, he had no idea I was worried, looking for him. When I think back, it was funny because I freaked out thinking he was missing. But only then I realized that I care and love
this kid more than I ever imagined.
Abang Lan is 19 now and yet he can’t do every simple things
like; tying his own shoelaces, buttoning his shirt, write or read, he don’t
understand simple instruction like; close the door, switch on the fan. But he
knows most of the cars on the road (he can’t read, yet he knows. I don’t know
how 0.0), he has a good memory and other little things that make me proud of
him. He's a bless, I am just grateful of what he is. I am thankful that he’s a healthy, big
boy now.
I have a dream and hope of
always being there for him whenever he needs me because I know he needs someone
to depend on. Abang Lan is special and a dear brother to me. He is Autistic.
May Allah bless him with good health. Always.
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